


No Touchy

by blynninja



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Other, i literally titled this "bad guy du jour" in my word docs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 21:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blynninja/pseuds/blynninja
Summary: Winry faces down a bad guy who has no idea who he's up against. Humor.





	No Touchy

**Author's Note:**

> I started this in January and I have no idea where it came from other than the first line or two. I don't remember where I was going with it, but this is what you get because I can't think of anything to add to it and I want it out of my drafts.

“Don’t you _dare_ touch them!”

It’s almost funny, Ed thinks: normally those words are coming out of his mouth.

Today they’re coming out of Winry’s as she shrieks at the bad guy _du jour._

It’s been an incredibly long week filled with stress and last-minute decisions, and Winry has obviously had enough.

So when today’s bad guy waltzes into Resembool like he owns the place, demanding to see the Fullmetal Alchemist (never mind that he’s no longer an alchemist; news must travel slowly where this idiot’s from), Winry snaps.

“You leave them alone, you hear me?!” she demands, brandishing her trusty wrench in the man’s face.

He blinks, and then laughs, lifting an arm as if to move Winry out of his way.

Ed growls and exchanges a look with Al, who nods quietly back, ready just in case.

“You touch those two and I will have your _head_!” Winry continues, ignoring the man’s raised arm and curious look. “The Fullmetal Alchemist is no longer an alchemist, and he’s getting _married_. _tomorrow_ , so if you even _think_ about hurting him, you’re going to have to answer to me and this wrench,” Winry bellows, her wrench held even tighter now, poised to take apart this guy’s head if she has to.

Ed notices the man also has an automail leg, which Winry has certainly noticed by now, but she makes no mention of it. Ed grins.

The man laughs again, declaring, “Out of my way, little girl! The Fullmetal and I have business!”

Winry’s face turns even stormier as she raises the wrench higher. “Did you not hear a word I just said, you moron? He’s not an alchemist anymore, he’s getting married in less than twenty-four hours, and you _will. not. touch. him_ or I will take apart that shoddy leg of yours and you’ll have to hobble all the way back home.”

The man ignores Winry again, scoffing as he tries to get around her. Ed just sighs and motions to Al, who performs a transmutation on the pathway and the man is left yelping as he hangs in mid-air.

“Thank you, Alphonse,” Winry says coolly, stalking toward the man with a murderous glint in her eye that Ed never wants to see again. At least she’s taking it out on the automail and not flesh and blood.

In moments, the man’s automail leg is in pieces on the walkway, and he shrieks curses at Winry, who simply ignores him and hooks her arm through Ed’s.

“C’mon, Fullmetal, we’ve got last-minute wedding plans to finish.”

Al catches up to them in a few strides, grinning as he offers Winry a high-five.

Winry high-fives him and then loops her other arm through his, and they head home.


End file.
